Officiating at Wedding of Non Religious Couple
I’ve been asked to officiate at the upcoming wedding of one of the colleges students that participated in our outreach program many years ago. Although the couple is jewish, they and their familes remain very “Viet” from yiddishkeit. Several issues have arisen.
1. Regarding the date, am I to ask that they please not make the date during the sifira dates or is that something I shouldn’t make an issue about, being that there are many other issues that they are being asked to follow that are of much greater importance, i.e, mikva, proper kiddushin etc….
2. Should I be signing and reading Tanayim or can that be omitted.
3. Should I be reading the kesubah under the chupah, if yes, must it be read in it’s entirety.
4.What should be done about the Kesubah, am I to ask the Chason about whether the bride is a besulah or can I just skip this discussion and fill in a Kesubah as if the bride is a besulah.
The Rav’s opinion is that considering the circumstances, your obligation is only to marry them Kdas Moshe Vyisrael. This includes the kallah going to the mikvah before the wedding, and a proper one ring ceremony being performed. Aside from that you need not be makpid on various minhagim that we perform at a typical wedding. Tnaim may be omitted, and the kesubah does not need to be read in its entirety, you may read a part of it, and perhaps explain its significance to the couple. In terms of the Kesubah, being that they will in all likelihood never refer to it as a legal document, you can fill out a regular kesubah.